BMH3 Run report

Run 1482, 15 August 2011
Hares: Splat and Shiny Helmet
Location: Bang Kruay-Sai Noi Soi 17

For the second time in two weeks Monday hashers had to negotiate some of the worst traffic Nonthaburi can offer to get to the run. This time a few hashers like The Tickler and Spinning Dwarf learnt by their previous experience and took the faster Rama 5 Bridge route, but other more dyed in the wool hashers like Bogdiver, Sheepshagger and your scribe stuck to the traditional Rama 7 Bridge/Victory Bakery route which was once again very, very slow.

Five minutes after we should have set off Bogdiver rolled up and announced he had been asked to act as Hash Cash by Spinning Dwarf, and was about to collect money when JM Spank Me told him we needed to set off. In a very brief briefing the hare, Splat, told us that the trail was laid on paper and gypsum – or maybe it was asbestos – and that we should turn right at the railway construction site and we would pick up the trail.

So while half the runners fumed in traffic jams a depleted pack set off, turned right, and after a few hundred metres found no sign of paper, gypsum or asbestos. As we wandered around in the muddy wilderness some latecomers arrived, and at their briefing they'd been told that they should carry on up the tracks to a footbridge. With this additional piece of information paper was now found, some hidden under bits of cardboard to keep it dry.

The trail wove a clever path in a very small area bounded by the railway and main roads. It had a good mixture of concrete paths, moobans, and very slippery muddy paths through the orchards, and took us past Disgusting's favourite restaurant, Baan Suan. The run was marred by long stretches without markings, and where there was paper it was often hidden until you were right on top of it. A number of Hashers had run a similar trail in this area a couple of weeks previously so knew where to go, but for runners unfamiliar with the area navigating was difficult. Your scribe got lost in the fading light and only found the trail again when our late-coming GM Pussy Virus with acolytes Drunken Donut and Bad Boy Bubby in hot pursuit came tearing past nearby.

Back at the beer the rain had restarted, so visits to the beer truck involved the risk of having an eye poked out by an umbrella rib. During the pre-circle social drinking it came to light that the trail had included un-marked false trails, which made it even harder to navigate. In his wisdom the GM decided that the circle should not be held where we had gathered, but across the road in the market cum car park. When Nearest and Dearest moved his wagon over there he was met with demands for a fee from the market traders for renting a pitch, but he successfully managed to avoid paying.

Once the circle got going the hare Splat and German/Filipino co-conspirator Shiny Helmet were the first to get down-downs, followed by one new boot. Then there were several returners, including Giles Molester who had just returned from the UK with a container load of slightly smoke-damaged flat screen TVs at a 'knock-off' price. No Good Boyo got called into the circle as a token Englishman, a status he acquired as he writes letters to the newspaper as a retired British vice-consul. Regardless of that, he probably was an Englishman until the Scandi's invaded and pushed all the English into the wastelands of Wales.

As the circle progressed cries from a not-so Young Turk asking when the On-On-On was starting became more frequent, and eventually the hare announced that the restaurant was wanting to close, so the RA moved on to the POTW. Much to his disappointment, NoNo wasn't even nominated this week, but Whining Wino was nominated as a lookalike for the Republican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann. In the end the winner was the cohare, Shiny Helmet.

Your scribe – like the noisy not-so Young Turk – missed out on what was probably a really good On-On-On.

OnOn.

Maverick.

Bangkok Monday Hash House Harriers