Bangkok Monday Hash House Harriers
Running and drinking beer since 1982. Website last updated: 29/03/09
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Run:- 1356 Date:- 16 March 2009
Location:- Finished Bridge, Romklao
Scribe:- Man Called Horse
How To Set Hash Runs For Dummies - A reference for the rest of us!
For Dummies is an extensive series of instructional books which are intended to present non-intimidating guides for readers new to the various topics covered. Despite the title, their publisher takes pains to emphasize that the books are not literally for dummies but more for runners with a drinking problem. The subtitle for every book is "A Reference for the Rest of Us!"
The books sporting a distinctive cover — usually a bruised yellow and black baldheaded eagle cartoon figure known as "Dummies Men" (Hare and Co-hare), and an informal, hand-writing style logo. Prose is simple and direct.
1. Start by throwing in a full football rectangular size field (soccer field for you natives).
2. Dump a hundred trees and a thousand bushes.
3. Along the long side of the football field dig a deep ditch and fill it with dirty water (klong / คลอง in Thai).
4. For background settings arrange heavy passenger and cargo airplanes landing nearby.
5. Turn up the heat to approx. 38 degrees Celsius or 100.4 Fahrenheit.
6. Invite a bunch of weirdo’s who don’t have a life of their own.
7. Ask the Hare, the Web Master and Newsletter Editor to agree on a set of directions. The mayhem following will ensure that no one will have a fucking clue about how to get from A to B. See 8. on how to do this most effectively.
8. Tell the invited to come to bridge no. 1 only 500 meters from the traffic light; then last minute move the meeting place to bridge no. 3 some 1,500 meter further down the road.
9. Scattered along the route where the invited guests will later be trotting, place half naked farmers and young maidens to guide everyone the opposite way.
10. To assist the dummies who don’t know the shape of a football field – upside or down - you may indicate the direction by drawing arrows on stones and tree stubs. Your alternative is to drop pieces of paper that can remain for the duration of the season until rain falls again.
11. Upon the return guests expect the catering to include at least cheese and bread (preferable French), pate, red wine and ice cold beer. If stock is available several dignitaries enjoy Cohibas or Motecristos and your generosity will be forever remembered.
12. For late adult entertainment try homohop. Kind of dick way crowd pleasers that previously included fisting, rimming and handballing You can of course also go for the more traditional such as a teacher or geologist, i.e. if you think it is funny to guess who the fuck died 23rd November 1634?
On Monday 16 March we had 25 Harriers, 10 Harriettes, 0 new boots and 4 visitors, total = 39. Returners included Jim “Bimbo” Edens, Teerachai “The Pink Panther” Riensubdee, Maew “Deep Shag” Hutchinson, and Thithaya “Short Shorts” Lukens.