Check Back Run 982, 14 January 2002 from The Port
Hare: Bruce Weeks
as recalled by Lion King
As Frisky and I rode to the run site together, the excitement was building, just thinking about the promises that had been made. A new and exciting run from the Port and free beer at the On On from the GM. But we should have known better, for Hashmen always lie.
First of all, the GM didn’t even show up on
time to get the pack moving, so Minus 10 did a decent job of circling up the
hashers on this beautiful evening in Bangkok.
Hare Hashhash issued a warning “this run took me three and a half
hours to set” and panic and trepidation set into some of us.
Fortunately no one was killed crossing the river, but
there were shouts of panic from Twin Peaks for fear of colliding with an
oncoming ship. We managed to
get off the boat with the usual close call of half of us getting tipped
over, and off we went, remembering the promise of virgin territory.
The pack was indeed surprised to find that the first check was really
off to the right into the jungle for a change.
But The Millennium Bug was bitterly disappointed, claiming that this
was the same trail he was planning to lay for the Wednesday run – sorry
about that.
The visiting bare-chested co-hare in purple shorts,
constantly interfered with the run by coaching slow runners with his
unappreciated words of encouragement to run faster and directing them every
step of the way. He actually
admitted to being a CIA operative out of Korea, and briefing Senator McCain
on a regular basis in Washington, DC He
tried to get local info. out of the unimpressed Lion King, but she held her
tongue admirably and changed the subject to more light hearted topics. He absolutely should have gotten Prick of the Week.
And the run . . . there was pavement, lots of pavement.
There were trees, lots of trees.
The run was better than most at the Port – perfect length and not
that god awful long boring knee killing pavement for miles ON IN as usual.
Back at the run site, the late coming bastard and
birthday GM was sitting on his ass on the back of his truck drinking a beer.
He had some ridiculous excuse about being late, but never mind, it
was his well-advertised birthday after all.
The hashers were looking forward to the promised free beer, but he is
a Cheap Charlie at heart and claimed beers would only be free after
midnight.
Mike Lauer “Stiffy”, returning member, had been having a holiday in Mexico with his girlfriend but got bored and decided to come to Bangkok for his “real” holiday. He and Hashhash were being disrespectful and discussing dirty details when Hashhash was called into the circle and claimed that Stiffy was just telling him about his latest blowjob. “He still can’t get the taste out of his mouth.”
Charges from RA George of the Jungle included Acts of
Passion on the run. GM wanted
to demonstrate an act of passion in the circle with Pamela as he nudged her
into the circle, but then disappointed the crowd by chickening out.
Then TQ was brought in as the serious offender, apparently using his
knee brace not only to run, but to have sex on his knees as well.
Ted, the visitor from Malawi, received Prick of the
Week for falsely claiming that runs are free in Malawi. Ted assumed that none of our Bangkok hashers had ever
been to his East African home Hash and was caught in the lie when Minus 10
spoke up and reported that he had been there and had to pay.
Visiting Danish hashers from Spain both announced that
they had purchased new shoes in the morning.
They were looking forward to the attention in the circle and drinking
from their shoes. Clearly this
punishment is not serious enough. This
scribe suggests that new shoes be treated in the True Hash Tradition - the
offender is lifted off the ground by other hashers (women lift men, men lift
women), the new shoe is filled with beer, then slowly poured over the face
of the sinner.
The Scribe missed the On On but turned up at 10:30 pm
at WONG’S to find that the GM had already gone home! What about the free beer at midnight? Isn’t it a prerequisite that all GMs be party animals,
especially on their birthdays? We’ve
go to do something to liven up The Great Pudenda.
Buying the beers at next week’s On On would be a good place to
start.
