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Bangkok Monday Hash House Harriers
Running and drinking beer since 1982. Website last updated: 31/10/08
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Run:- 1336 Date:- 27 October 2008.
Location:- Far end of Suksawat Road
Hare:- Bad Boy Bubby.
Scribe:- Weedeater.The heavy grey clouds refused to scud across the horizon. Hovering overhead, just waiting for unsuspecting Hashers to venture outside, these malevolent masses ponderously cruised the almost non-existent air currents intent on sending a deluge upon us.
Still intoxicated from excitement of the Indochina Hash in Sukhothai, I persuaded fellow Bangkok Bike Hasher and colleague Crafty Wanker (CW), to try a Monday run. Being a rather foolhardy soul, he agreed and we set off to Chez Sharp/Biggadike in order collect suitable transportation and chauffeur. I entered the front door of my apartment and was immediately hurled to the floor. I came up for air to notice No Meat sitting on my chest in her lycra Catwoman outfit, brandishing the Vaseline. “But it’s the 27th!”, she cried. “Get off me woman and fetch us some refreshment”, I demanded. I got off the floor again and made the drinks, CW avowing he was ok with staying in, whilst eyeing up the Vaseline and chocolate spread. NO DAMMIT ! It is Hash night and we will go! I got off the floor again.
We piled into the trusty Isuzu tank and went our way. I regaled CW with stories of previous hashes set at the mouth of the river, down by the naval station. No Meat, muttering under her breath about the wasted lettuce still lying on the bed, was not in the best of moods when we parked at the said Naval Yard at 5:00pm and guess what? There weren’t any Hashers. “Well, read the mis-directions”, she demanded. I didn’t have them – mis-directions are for pussies, everyone knows that! We drove up this road, called Bullet, then drove up that road and called Bullet. Thanks Bullet, you saved me considerable grief. The lowering clouds dropped their load.
We found the Hare, Bad Boy Bubby, who set us off a little after the pack. No Meat, still mindful of the yoghurt she had prepared and which was sitting by the handcuffs, was less than enthusiastic about the sojourn in front of us. CW, having little experience of running with real athletes (his normal routine being in Lumphini Park), leapt forward with alacrity until we left the tarmac and entered the land of Shiggy. We pushed aside the long grass, we slithered along mud covered banks and slid perilously close to turgid waters. After a short while of hard running, eventually we caught up with the pack. Bog Diver strode along, swinging his stout cudgel about and devastating unsuspecting vegetation stupid enough to get in his way. We passed under dwellings, the friendly inhabitants wearing incredulous expressions as they watched stupid, mud-caked farangs stomping through their property. I’m sure the Hare didn’t tell them that each Hasher that passed, would deposit several kilos of mud in their house!
On we went. Up the side of this pond, through more mud and down the side of that pond. NoNo, his red head a beacon in the gathering gloom, bobbed up and down in the grasses. Hungry Bum delicately danced her way over the rough banks while Boob-a-Lube minced when he wasn’t trying to injure himself. Spinning Dwarf came striding towards us, a mad maniacal glint in his eye. “You might as well know it’s that way”, he said as we approached him and the check simultaneously. Being a contrary soul, Spinning Dwarf had elected to ‘do’ the ‘run/slide’ backwards, thus breaking the check. We followed his advice and soon came to a fork with easily spotted paper to the right. Man-Called-Horse (MCH) led the way and, after a few hundreds of metres, ran out of paper. At this point there is always a dilemma…..you can see that the pond next to you extends and that you are at least 75% of the way along it. The trail appears to have been on the other side of said pond. Do you go forward, around the top of the pond and short cut….or do you go all the way back and start afresh?? Me and CW went back. MCH went forward!! Some people never learn. He caught us again eventually. By now, the light is fading. We arrive at a junction with shreddy strewn about like confetti. Being sensible chaps, CW, Dunkin’ Doughnut and I elected to take the shorter route back to the A-site and refreshment after all, the night was closing in. We finally stumbled onto the road next to the parked cars in total darkness – except for all the lights that were on. Being concerned about other Hashers, CW worried why no else was with us. F**k ‘em I said. F**k ‘em said Duffnut and Bad Boy Bubby. Eventually all returned after completing a longer loop, Pussy Virus leading the way – a shining example to us all.
The mud splattered pack divested clothing, washed off and were soon deeply into their cups. Tales of daring-do, how great odds were overcome and how amazing war wounds were ignored, teeth gritting in pain and suffering. People…. That’s why we have beer, a natural anaesthetic. Unfortunately, No Meat, thoughts of soft slippery mud on her mind, persuasively suggested that we slip away quietly into the darkness………….
OnOn
Weedeater***
On Monday 27 October we had 14 Harriers, 5 Harriettes, 1 new boot and 6 visitors, total = 26. Returners included KC & Elen, and Tom Ellefsen. Welcome to New Boot Armin Spenninger.
