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Bangkok Monday Hash House Harriers
Running and drinking beer since 1982. Website last updated: 10/03/08
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Run:- 1301 Date:- 25 February 2008.
Location:- Baan Suan Restaurant, Bang Kruay
Hare:- Disgusting
Scribe:- MiniThere are those who have pointed out that any Hash run begins when you leave for it, not simply when you arrive at the run site. Oh, how true. When you’re coming from the mangrove swamps of Bangkhuntien chances are you’ll never get there. We’re down in the bayou, ain’t nobody comin’ out.
Well here’s a story about the day I got out this one time. It seems like only last Monday. I thought to myself, I’ve got a run coming up next week, people are emailing me, “you have to do a write-up. It a rule.” It’s a Cengiz run. I haven’t been to Bangkruai since the last time. What will it be? Over the road to the north or down to the railroad tracks? Will there be pepper vodka? Will I be a shambles the next morning? These are all questions begging, just begging to be answered. What was I to do? It was only 4pm in the bayou. I’d finished the last classes for two of my three courses for the semester. I was feeling somewhat celebratory. If I got back to Bangmod by 5:30, I might make it up to Bangkruai before the on-on-on starts. What the hell. I’ll go on up the river . . .
Cleaned a lot of plates in Memphis,
Pumped a lot of pain down in New Orleans,
But I never saw the good side of the city,
Until I hitched a ride on a river boat queen.Alright. Let’s squint our eyes here. Bangkruai will stand in for Memphis. I’m going to Graceland, Graceland, Memphis Tennessee
And my traveling companions
Are ghosts and empty sockets
I'm looking at ghosts and empties,
But I've reason to believe
We all will be received
In Graceland,And wouldn’t you know it, when I get there, who do I find but one of Tennessee’s famous sons, none other than Guzman. Well, well . . . an Elvis sighting, I do declare. He wasn’t in that Michigan K-Mart after all, hiding in the change room. That was Nicolas Cage, nothing but an Elvis impersonator. No, the real Elvis, there he was standing right there with me as a returnee, right there in the circle! Beer in hand.
A well I bless my soul
Whats wrong with me?
Im itching like a man on a fuzzy tree
My friends say Im actin wild as a bugSomebody mentioned that the run went across the road. Ah, well, that answers that question. Enough said about the run. My curiosity was satisfied on that score.
And there’s Raincoat too with his 30 year old bathrobe – older than most hashes (and hashers). It’s what keeps Raincoat vertical, the stiffness of that never-been-washed Technicolor Dreamcoat . . .
This could be a happy ending,
Perfect place to stop the show
Joseph after all has gone
About as far as he can goOur Religious Advisor (everyone’s Religious Advisor) performed his duties in a way that would have made Mephistopheles proud, or at least Christopher Hitchens before the alcohol drained him of sense (Hitchens, that is, certainly not our Religious Advisor). I wrote all these pearly beads of wisdom down and stuck them in my back pocket for future transcription. Alas, the maid crept into my suburban home in the early hours of Tuesday morning and washed those jeans as I slept. As often happens in the suburbs – remembering my own childhood – I awoke to find my notes as tattered as my thoughts. Who was there that night? I remember Elvis. I think CCR put in an appearance but I can’t be sure. I had a nightmare about that noxious wanker Andrew Lloyd Webber (Lord Lloyd-Webber to you, you plebe – go on, say Lord Lloyd three times fast). And of course the run isn’t over till you’ve purged yourself of the nightmares (that’s another rule I made up) . . .
It seems that the problem is very deep
'cause everytime I try to sleep
I have nightmares
thinking about
getting together with you
no no I wouldn't say so
I would not call it a curse
but what worries me then
is when I wake up if it might be worse
(Violent Femmes, Nightmares, 1984)Wake up and smell the coffee, brother, it’s almost time for my run . . . one more red nightmare in Miniburi.
***
On Monday 25 February we had 29 Harriers, 5 Harriettes, 0 new boots and 2 visitors, total = 36. Welcome back to returners Bob Rayner, Marc Lavoie, Tom Ellefsen, Graeme Bristol and Roberto Guzman.
