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Bangkok Monday Hash House Harriers
Running and drinking beer since 1982. Website last updated: 22/02/07
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Run:- 1247 Date:- 12 February 2007.
Location:- Wat Saphan
Hare:- Noriega and Love Canal
Scribe:- TinkerRun Site (Run Sight if you prefer): Wat Wan Saphan Ah-Time
Weather: Nice
Present: Lots of Hashers (half the lot arrived late); Absent: YMWGMH
Here’s a map (gaps represent known checks):
Wat Saphan
Start
Tinker’s short-cut Confusion
Laterite Road
Another Wat More Confusion
w/ half a bridge (thru the barbed wire)
Silent pack went this way
Pack went this way
But first, here’s a tip on how to get to any run site in a hurry: Select a taxi driver who’s anxious to return the car in 30 minutes. Close your eyes and pray.
Also, this write-up is dedicated to the visiting Harriette whom Spinning Dwarf must have pushed into the klong, and to Late-coming Ball Slapper, for wearing a very bright red shirt, so visible to anyone else checking deep. As was absolutely necessary on this run. And to Bullit for having been here and done that so many times so that he was awarded a very handsome, dragon-encrusted pewter mug. Should have been for 600 runs at least.
This brings up a point worth mentioning. Monday run stats seem a little off. (Sort of like the milk in Maverick’s fridge.) For example, Noreiga‘s first run is shown as 503, but here’s from the archives for run 474: “… new boots (including Primo & Noriega by popular acclaim). Noriega promises to pay his membership "next time". Here’s from run 517: “Noriega was forever promising to pay his membership "next time". Now he's PAID!” So what was run 503? Where Noriega ALMOST paid? Some people, and I won’t name names except to say one of their names rhymes with “Thinker”, seem to have been stuck at 424 runs for years. But I digress.
Next, a cute joke. Actually, two cute jokes.
A Zen master visiting New York City goes up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."
The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen master, who pays with a $20 bill.
The vendor puts the bill in the cashbox and closes it. "Excuse me, but where’s my change?" asks the Zen master.
The vendor responds, "Change must come from within ……………………"
So on to “Run Silent, Run Deep”. Sub-titled “A Bridge Too Far (for Tinker)”
At the OnOnOn, Love Canal took a helping of duck beak, looked over and said “Tinker, would you do the write-up?” I said “You know that I short-cut half the run.” He said, spitting out pieces of duck beak, “Exactly!”
So here’s the write-up, 50% conjecture, 50% rubbish. Like the 5 Baht boat the stupid hares alluded to at the run start.
The short-cut was, by my standards, a good one. Following the prolonged confusion of the first two checks, I was half an hour into the run - - feeling somewhat put-out and somewhat knackered. At the rate of progress so far, it was a good bet we’d lose daylight long before the in-trail. So I strolled west along a pleasant laterite road.
It was certain that the in-trail would have to cut back across the laterite road, and it was also certain that the hares would leave no in-trail marks visible to short-cutters. I kept going, past where the hidden in-trail crossed the road, and eventually came across paper after about fifteen minutes.
Here comes the hard part to believe. In that fifteen minutes the entire pack must have already reached the point where I found paper, and was returning in the opposite direction to which I was walking.
What I can’t figure out is why I saw or heard no signs of the pack. My short-cut road more or less paralleled true trail, separated by about 100 metres (refer to map above). Somehow all of the pack ran the loop from the barbed wire to the second wat, across the half-bridge, and back to where I picked up paper, and back along the concrete pathways of the true trail – all the time completely silent and invisible! No homeowners saw them in the orchards, no dogs barked, and there was no reside of sweat on the banana leaves.
Merrill’s Marauders or Wingate’s Raiders couldn’t have done better.
But - - thinking I had now short-cut to the front of the pack, I turned left off the laterite road and casually sauntered back along true trail. Strange, though, as time passed, I should have heard distant On-Ons to the rear. (Well, good thing I short-cut, they’re really lost!) Only once, when I noticed wet running shoe tracks on a coconut tree trunk bridge, did I really wonder. No matter, it was lovely in the orchards in the gloaming – always a pleasure. Nice trail. And there were thoughts of a cold beer back at the Wat.
There is a partial explanation to the mystery, thanks to AKM in his role as RA. It seems that Disgusting, the lovely Pussy Galore, and others of the same ilk stole silently away from checks for unsavoury purposes. But that can’t apply to everyone. Or can it? Refer again to the map above. It seems impossible that the entire pack cold have run silent enough or deep enough to escape my attention, especially as I was keeping reasonably alert for signs and sounds. (OK, I went into the shrubberies for a wank, but just for a minute.)
A prize of millions of your US Dollars to anyone who can explain the mystery. (But first deposit $20,000 into my bank account as evidence of your good faith.)
Bog commandeered the circle, in the absence of the GM (off peddling his ass somewhere), and nothing unusual happened. The pack loved the run. “Just Ray” became a new boot. Welcome, we need the money badly. Lunch Box won the hashit in his usual way, with the help of some crowd control by the RA. A couple of Thai Harriettes were very impressed with the worksmanship of the hashit. Giggles, titillations, and long indecent sighs. (You know the definition of “indecent”? In long and hard, that’s in decent.)
The OnOnOn was at a convenient roadside venue with a stunning view of a flyover. The restaurant boasted “every kind of beer” and I think it’s true. The Senator ordered. The plaa samlii was good. So was the Senator’s live wine. I don’t recommend the fried sliced duck’s beak. Neither apparently does Love Canal.
On the way back, a much different kind of taxi driver took us over the new Rama 8 Bridge on a four- or five-kilometre long elevated approach. It seems a good way to get directly over to Ratchapreuk Road from downtown.
In closing, again from the archives: “Noreiga was playing with himself in the circle.” That was back at run 530. Nothing changes. Except the run stats.
***
On Monday 12 February 2007, we had 19 Harriers, 9 Harriettes, 1 new boot and 7 visitors, total = 36. Returners included Jennifer "Late Coming Ball Slapper" Sloan. Welcome to new boot Arthur Moon.
