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Run No:- |
1101 |
Date:- 26 April 2004 |
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Location:- |
Wat Bang Khanun |
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Hare:- |
Andrew McPherson |
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Scribe:- |
Jason Cordray |
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A mighty and bold coalition of Hash forces set off in high spirits at exactly 5:30 from home base behind Wat Bang Khanun. All went well until just after the first check, when all routine running operations ceased and a minefield of outrageous obstacles laid by the insurgent hare began. In keeping with the brutal Scottish military tactics signified by his code-name “Agent Orange”, there opened up a wide chasm over a noxious ditch filled with toxic chemical run-off from the nearby Banana groves. Sandbags piled high on either side, all the courageous Hasher could do was grit the teeth and leap, praying not to fall into the carcinogenic sludge or land in a tangle of Bamboo spikes. The trail then headed into a patch of thick and dark jungle where lay many hidden holes and ditches ready to swallow the ankle. After all this warfare, one would naturally expect that the Hare would of put us back onto some civilized Klong path, but NO! Adding insult to injury all that met the pack on the other side was another snake and muck infested ditch that he had found to make us leap over!
Just when things could get no worse, the pack backed up, blocked from crossing a bridge by indigenous personnel keen on defending their territory against enemy invasion. The pack had lost all initiative. After much negotiation by the platoon’s Thai translator, it was agreed that we could only pass through their zone only on their own terms, that being “one-at-a-time”. This was obviously a trap. Many a Hasher met their sorrowful end on the battle trail by falling off this rickety one-board bridge into the quicksand of dried-out Rice paddy and sharp sticks below. The shell-shocked survivors of these first two assaults soldiered on, until reaching the haven of a Klong path. After a short, easy march through some civilian settlements lining the path with birdcages and trees, hell and confusion broke loose again. A check appeared in the middle of this seemingly innocent path, another trap, with no bridge to be seen across the smelly, scum infested river to the other side. Just in view, on the far bank, were a few tantilizing shreds of paper. What was to be done? A crack Reconassiance scout was sent out, Sgt.Casey, and he soon appeared racing at top speed down the other side, packs of temple-guarding soi-dogs in pursuit. It was soon decided that there must be a bridge somewhere across the River Scum, and an MIA Hasher lost from the squadron back on the rickety board bridge was spotted near it, paralyzed by the horrors of the battle-trail. A rabid dog was guarding the enemy command center at Wat Bang Khanun, and looking to chew her to bits.
The rabid dog growled at her, ready to bite, but an Austrailian commando named Slater sacrificed himself so that others might live to Hash. According to reports in the circle, he charged headlong at the beast to clear a way over the bridge. After a few more casualties due to shortcutting at this dangerous crossing, the invading coalition managed to secure theWat in relatively short time, only to have to look for a shamefully quick exit because of inept planning about how to pacify the rebellious monk, klong dweller, and coconut farmer population once we owned the place. Once back on the trail, in a horrific surprise in the thick of the Coconut groves, some weapons-of-mass short-cutting obliterated at least half the pack. The sick and injured hobbled back to home base behind the Wat after a long period where the survivors thought the worse. The Commanding GM, Sgt.Spinning Dwarf, and Private Bug were the last coalition forces seen to be exiting enemy territory back to the circle, where all Hash Forces will remain until it is safe for them to pursue their Hashitarian objectives in this hostile land without so much as a scratch.
RUN STATISTICS
On Monday 26 April we had 28 Harriers, 11 Harriettes, 2 new boots and 6 visitors, total = 47. Returners included Marcel "Claptrap" Kloesmeijer, Dave "Deadhead" Rockey, Simon "Mudguard" Kitchen, Captain Eric, Carlos the Sex Tourist, Jeffrey 'I Don't Remember" Wachtel, Cenghis "Disgusting" Ertuna, and Khun Tui. Welcome to New Boots Tara "Tom Petty" Calloway and Cindy "Cinderella" Taylor.
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