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Run No:- |
1084 |
Date:- 29 December 2003 |
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Location:- |
Hash Bridge |
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Hares:- |
The Senator & Suffle |
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Scribe:- |
George "Sub Human" Bevington |
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The recent cool weather in Bangkok has brought out streams of eager hashers, encouraging them to push themselves harder on the runs, because now it no longer feels like running in a microwave oven. This week’s hares were Vichai “The Senator” and his faithful sidekick, Suphon “Suffle”, two recalcitrant bastards who claim some relation to the famous Patpongpanit family but took up hashing “because we keeek-butt.” Although Suffle Patpong’s young ladies were seldom seen on this week’s run at the Hash Bridge Dairy Queen, the dynamic duo presented no less of an exotic jaunt filled with gleaming pavement.
The pack took off like a bat out of Hell, led by sassy Linda “No Meat” Sharpe and her handsome partner, the forever-young Neil “Dickweed” Biggerdick, as the rest of the hash pilgrims followed closely behind in awe of the Ultimate Farrang Couple. Sporting a new haircut that he did himself, Pitak “Pisstak” Chantong galloped after Steve “Tastes Great” Furst and darted left down the skinny soi past some toothy children. The Bangkok Monday Hash is world-renowned for invigorating innocent neighborhoods with big tummies and beer breath, always causing a ruckus with the “cone Thai” and perpetuating the myth of the insane white man.
Pavement turned into a narrow green pathway between tiny klongs as the pack slugged ahead, Christy-“Frisky” in the lead after breaking the first check (and several more later on; clearly an over-achiever) and Joost “Hashendale” Zwaeger, not the first hasher to successfully impregnate a khatoey, practicing his English football expressions—“Oooonnnn!!!.......Balll-swaaaaallloooww….aaahhh!!!”. Alan-“Bloody Nipples” could not keep up and took the slow road with El Cap-i-tan Eric.
Alas, with an ululating “On-On Mutha-Fu%$^ker!!”, the pack zipped off again, Todd Wilkie taking pleasure in the return to pavement because it makes his shoes feel so nice. A man who maintains meticulous records and keeps BMH3 straight on the attendance books, Mr. Spinning Dwarf has quietly settled into his role of tallying each run, and thus augmenting the fame of our chronic hashers who have amassed in excess of 500 runs. Just remember, you petulant wankers, without the Dwarf, you’d be stuffed in the klong with no one but Ajarn K.M. to bail you out. The next time you see Todd, please pull down his pants in appreciation.
The hash herd finished the run on a cool on-in past Wat Bang-na and a few wisps of paper lying about because no one bothers to connect the checks after breaking them. George “Sub Human” Bevington and Finn “Fabulous Finn” Sorensen arrived a few minutes later, having started the run at 17:35 and nearly managing to catch the bastards on their mercurial treads. Sub Human, aspiring to become like his hero Bruce “Hash-Ass” Weeks, chose Bangkok for vacation and a visit with the glamorous Tim “Joylide” Weekendz, a young lady chiseled with wily feminine charm and tempting brown eyes.
A pre-emptive Prick-of-the-Week took place and immediately this week’s strap-on dildo went to a very friendly farrang woman from the U.K. married to the GM from LaWhore Hash. No one bothered to learn her name, however, they did pick up on her living in Lahore, Pakistan, which led to the unopposed nomination of the-woman-from-LaWhore for P.O.T.W. Frank “Noriega” Allum, Asia’s answer to Michael Jackson and a proponent of the burgeoning sex trade in under-aged boys, jumped in with a few bars of hash songs and his usual playful tomfoolery. Marie “Pussy Galore” Blonde added a pirouette to the Circle, shaking her Rapunzel-like mane of hair at the shaggy Brucie Weeks.
The On-on-on took place at the local eatery where the tired and triumphant hashers consumed good tucker and exchanged ribaldry amidst a jolly air of mirth.
On On, Sub Human
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On Monday 29 December we had 16 Harriers, 7 Harriettes, 0 new boots and 3 visitors, total = 26. Returners included Suphon "Suffle" R., George "Subhuman" Bevington, Daeng Chantong, and Tom "Pussy Virus" Ellefsen.
